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Saturday, Oct 21, 2017
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Kaufman: Gifts could make new year better for NFL stars

NEW ORLEANS — Here in the Big Easy, it’s not difficult to figure out what gifts should be distributed around the National Football League during the holiday season. A $9 billion industry doesn’t want for much, but here’s a 2014 wish list that needs to be filled from Miami to Seattle.

Jerry Jones: A head coach who can do it all like Jimmy Johnson.

Drew Brees: A left tackle who can get in someone’s way.

Mike Smith: A defensive end who can make Atlanta fans forget about John Abraham.

Roger Goodell: A crisp, sunny day at the Meadowlands on Feb. 2.

Marvin Lewis: A primer on how to win on the road in January.

Ray Rice: Fresh legs.

Andrew Luck: A healthy Reggie Wayne next fall.

Rex Ryan: Some overdue recognition for a job well done.

Richie Incognito: A muzzle.

Jim Schwartz: A heaping dose of humility.

Adrian Peterson: A reliable quarterback who can ease his burden.

Dan Snyder: A new line of work for The Wolf of the Beltway.

Eli Manning: Renewed emphasis on ball security.

Randy Moss: A reminder that you haven’t done much since 2009.

Gary Kubiak: An offensive coordinator job of his choosing.

Ben Roethlisberger: Someone to throw to, other than Antonio Brown.

Josh Gordon: First-team All-Pro honors for a magnificent year.

Frank Gore: The league’s “Tough Guy” award. Every season.

Bruce Arians: A media award for his unfiltered comments.

John Fox: Less stress.

Darrelle Revis: Healthy knees.

Philip Rivers: A new contract with the Chargers.

Andy Reid: Peace of mind for overseeing a dramatic turnaround.

Luke Kuechly: An instructional video, highlighting all those form tackles.

Ronde Barber: Continued growth in the broadcast booth.

Robert Quinn: Accolades for the new Simeon Rice.

Marshawn Lynch: A book deal on the art of running angry.

Connor Barth: Another chance to kick for the Bucs in 2014.

Lovie Smith: A fresh start after a year off.

Derrick Brooks: Good news from Canton.

John Lynch: Ditto.

Tony Dungy: Ditto.

Jared Allen: A free-agent offer he can’t refuse from the Bucs.

Dashon Goldson: Snuggling up to a lower strike zone.

Peyton Manning: Another shot at a Vince Lombardi Trophy.

NFL blackout rules: Termination.

Jon Gruden: No more silly college rumors.

Bucs fans: Reason to believe.

Tony Romo: 58-minute football games.

Da’Quan Bowers: A swift and quiet departure from Tampa.

Aaron Rodgers: A vivid reminder of what he can do when healthy.

Josh Freeman: A backup role to resurrect his career.

NFL Competition Committee: A thorough re-assessment of pass interference rules.

Tom Brady: Yeah, like he needs something.


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Twitter: @IKaufmanTBO

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