Don't Let The Jerks At Work Drive You Insane

By DAVE SIMANOFF The Tampa Tribune

Published: May 20, 2007

TAMPA - Jerks. Bullies. Tyrants. Schmucks. They're not just a trivial annoyance at work. Jerks demoralize co-workers, sapping productivity and nudging talented employees out the door and, quite possibly, into competitors' offices.

They undermine a company's mission. They open organizations to litigation. They may boast impressive results, but in the long run, they sabotage the company's profit.

You'll encounter a spectrum of jerks in the workplace, from assertive yet well-meaning co-workers whose people skills need polishing to manipulative bullies who assert control by belittling and abusing others.

To handle these prickly personalities, you'll need some understanding, strategy, emotional fortitude — and, if conditions don't improve, the willingness and strength to seek out

another job. Every person, every situation and every workplace is different, but the one thing that's guaranteed is that the problem isn't going away.

"[Jerks] have always been with us and will always be with us," said Robert I. Sutton, a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford University.

(Why the brackets in that last quote? Sutton doesn't actually use the word "jerks." He uses a word that's highly discouraged by The Tampa Tribune's legion of copy editors — one that's only permitted once in this story, and that's only because it's in the title of Sutton's latest book: "The No Asshole Rule.")

Among experts, there's little debate that schmucks of all stripes are bad for business.

"They have a very detrimental effect on people," said Paul Spector, a professor of industrial psychology at the University of South Florida. "Being mistreated at work is very stressful."

That stress can manifest itself as higher absentee rates, lower productivity and even in physical symptoms, such as headaches and stomachaches, Spector said.

But what if someone with an abrasive personality is also a good producer?

Just because someone is productive doesn't mean he or she should be kept on the payroll, the experts say.

In his book, Sutton profiles one company that tallied up all the costs related to a superstar sales representative. The total came to $160,000. The company subtracted a portion of that amount from the salesman's performance bonus.

Emotional Intelligence At Work

A lot of jerks at work don't intend to be jerks. They just don't know how not to be. "Often the people we define as jerks in the workplace are people who are not in touch with their own emotions," said Mary Anne Watson, associate dean at the University of Tampa and an expert in organizational behavior.

"They don't have empathy. They don't look at how their behaviors might impact other people."

These people might seem benign, especially when compared with their malicious bullying brethren. But this lack of self-awareness and empathy, what's known in professional circles as emotional intelligence, can hurt an organization.

Research done in the past 10 years shows that emotional intelligence and socio-emotional skills play a large role in effective leadership, Watson said.

The gist of all those studies: If you lack emotional intelligence, "you aren't going to be nearly as successful as a leader," she said. The good news is that people can learn to become more empathic and responsive through coaching and training.

A Businesslike Approach

Bullies are jerks who delight in debasing other employees. Their jerkiness transcends mere rudeness — it's the stuff of personal attacks and sabotage.

"They're all the same," said Robert Mueller, author of "Bullying Bosses."

"They cannot connect with other people. No matter how many stress management courses they go to, they are never going to be able to connect."

Facts and objectivity are the best weapons against bullies, Mueller said. When you realize you're the victim of a bullying co-worker or boss, start tracking the incidents. Mueller recommends recording the names of people involved, dates, quotes and other information on index cards.

Then, seek out a sympathetic manager or human resources representative and lay out the facts. You want to show a pattern of bullying behavior, not a sob story.

"You want to take a businesslike approach — somber and serious," Mueller said. "A businesslike approach focuses on operational needs, not hurt feelings."

Bullies are bad for organizations because they're more focused on their needs than the company's.

"Bullies do not get the job done," Mueller said. "If a person can connect, they're a leader. If they're a leader, they stop, look and listen. They have the information they need to make judgments and give directions. A bully doesn't do that."

Bullies, Mueller said, "are the ultimate defenders of mediocrity — starting with their own."

Dealing With A Major Irritant

The following can be moved into an info box: Sutton, the Stanford professor whose book contains the not-for-publication-in-a-family-newspaper word in its title, outlines some tips for dealing with a jerk in the workplace: •It's easier to resist a jerk at the beginning of a working relationship, before any patterns of jerky behavior set in.

•Push back if you feel you can.

•Keep track of nasty behavior. Like Mueller, Sutton recommends keeping a "[jerk] journal." •If you can, limit the amount of contact you have with people who seem determined to hurt or alienate you. Try to maintain a sense of emotional detachment.

•Recognize when it's time to go. "Really, if you've just walked into Jerk City and this is going to be your life, that's a sign that you should get out as fast as you can," Sutton said. End info box here.

Ideally, organizations would recognize the value of maintaining jerk-free working environments, and leaders would set a good example, Sutton said.

It's not an ideal world yet, but there are some reasons to be hopeful.

Sutton recounted the story of one acerbic manager who learned how to control his temper and today introduces himself as a "recovering [jerk]." He spoke about the corporate culture at technology giant Google, where nastiness is discouraged.

"One person told me that she's a nicer person there than she was at other places," he said. "She said you can't get away with being mean. It's not efficient to be a [jerk] there." He also recalled his interview with a woman who worked for a major irritant — that is, an irritating Army major. She told him she wouldn't abide his nastiness. She also said she was keeping track of his behavior. His attitude toward her changed immediately.

"Sometimes, you've got to find some way to push back and give them the message that you're not going to take it," he said.

Reporter Dave Simanoff can be reached at (813) 259-7762 or dsimanoff@tampatrib.com.

A Gallery Of Tyrants

Real Jerks

Al Dunlap: The former CEO of Sunbeam gained notoriety for his bad temper and belligerence toward subordinates. In "Chainsaw," a biography by John Byrne, a former Sunbeam executive said dealing with Dunlap was like facing "a dog barking at you for hours."

Scott Rudin: This high-profile film producer is often considered the nastiest boss in Hollywood. The Wall Street Journal claimed he fired 250 personal assistants between 2000 and 2005, although Rudin contested the article and said the actual number was closer to 120.

Bob Knight: This tough-talking short-tempered college basketball coach was famously dismissed at Indiana University in 2000. He was photographed choking a player in 1997 and denied claims of grabbing and bullying another player three years later. He is now coach at Texas Tech and boasts the record for the most NCAA Division I men's wins.

Simon Cowell: The famously prickly judge of "American Idol" is renowned for his verbal insults and put-downs. He told one contestant, "My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't." To another, he said: "Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf."

Fictional Jerks

Miranda Priestly: This fashion magazine editor, appearing in the book "The Devil Wears Prada" and played by Meryl Streep in the film adaptation, routinely terrifies her staff and belittles her assistants. The character is supposedly based on real-life Vogue editor Anna Wintour. Robert Mueller, author of "Bullying Bosses," says Priestly isn't a true bully because at the end of the film she proves she has the capacity to make emotional connections with other people.

C. Montgomery Burns: On a closed-circuit television monitor, power plant owner C. Montgomery Burns sees Homer Simpson snacking when he should be working. Burns turns to his toady Waylon Smithers and exclaims: "Stuffing his face with doughnuts on my time! That's right, keep eating — little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison doughnut! There is a poison one, isn't there, Smithers?" Smithers, apologetically, replies: "Ah, no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers. They consider it murder."

Cosmo G. Spacely: The president of Spacely Space Sprockets routinely terrorized employee George Jetson, firing him on several occasions. Mr. Spacely's prehistoric doppelganger, Mr. Slate, had a similarly contentious relationship with Fred Flintstone.

Dave Simanoff

HELPFUL WEB SITES

BULLYING BOSSES: bullyingbosses.com. Includes a downloadable form for recording bullying incidents.

BOB SUTTON BLOG: bobsutton.typepad.com

THE [JERK] RATING SELF-EXAM:

tinyurl.com/29ba44. Note, once again, the use of brackets. The expurgated word begins with the letter A, so the proper acronym for the exam is ARSE.

BULLY ONLINE: bullyonline.org. A British Web site about bullying in all situations, including the workplace.