Is Common Sense Still Allowed?

By STEVE OTTO The Tampa Tribune

Published: Apr 18, 2008

It's bad enough the Hillsborough County School Board has to meet on a regular basis, dulling the senses of anyone trapped within earshot.

This week they called a special meeting. I'm not sure what the exact wording for the meeting read, but roughly it was: "What in the world is going on with those oversexed teachers we've got around here?"

It didn't take too long to realize that the board members didn't have a clue.

There were long monologues on how the system needed to tighten its hiring practices, make sure everyone had gone through ethics classes and been fingerprinted. One board member wanted to know whether new teachers had been instructed in what sort of clothes to wear to class and how to keep their distance from students.

Who Let That In Here?

They all seemed to agree that part of the problem was technology and the availability of cell phones and text messaging. They also blamed those Internet sites such as MySpace and Facebook. They might have blamed Britney Spears as well; I'm not too sure. Those meetings can be pretty numbing.

It was while they were questioning Chuck Fleming, director of staff development for the school district, about the various programs, that he mentioned there was a pamphlet available called "Common Sense."

That seemed to tickle several board members, who were likely surprised that something with a name like that would be allowed inside the system.

20th Beepball Classic Our Chance

Our old softball team used to blame its losses on the umpire, claiming he was blind.

My Beepball squad, on the other hand, blames its 19 consecutive losses on the other team, which really is blind.

That would be the squad from the Lighthouse for the Blind, a nefarious bunch that shows up once a year and more or less cleans our collective clocks. Down through the seasons I've brought in new players, everyone from pro wrestlers to hockey players to lawyers and judges. They've all pretty much stunk.

The idea is to equalize the game by playing blindfolded and then try to hit a grapefruit-sized ball that beeps. In the unlikely event anyone on the team hits the ball, they then have to find the base, which is also beeping, before the other team finds the ball.

We're going to try again at 10 a.m. Saturday at the New York Yankees' Community Field, which is right next to the newly renamed George Steinbrenner Field.

The Lighthouse squad, as usual, is led by the legendary Lee Kimbrell, who has scored runs in all 19 contests.

Our squad will be led by Tampa City Councilman Charlie Miranda, who claims he once played baseball for real. News Channel 8 anchor Gayle Guyardo will be in the starting lineup along with traffic reporter Alicia Roberts, who actually hit the ball last year.

Councilwoman Mary Mulhern will make a rookie start as well. Tampa poet laureate James Tokley might even write an ode to Beepball. Food guruette Laura York will be a starter, as will Trib regulars B.C. Manion, Walt Belcher and Denise Palmer.

And just in case, Pinetop Peterson from the Quivering Rhythm Hounds Band promises to bring the magic Mojo Hand, which he guarantees will strike fear into the Lighthouse team.

Steve Otto's column appears Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays.