That Late-Night Call Gives Parents Crash Course In Gratitude

By STEVE OTTO The Tampa Tribune

Published: May 5, 2008

Cinco de Mayo. Around here it's less a holiday than an excuse to stretch a long weekend through Monday. It's another reason to fire up the grill and sit outside in the prequel to another Florida summer.

There is even the temptation to drag out that awful Cinco de Mayo shaggy dog story I unloaded on you last year: The one that ties the sinking of the Titanic into a huge shipment of mayonnaise headed for Mexico, but I'll spare you that one.

I'll be honest and say I'm not up to it right now. Last week I wrote about my son's car accident while driving back from college in Tallahassee. Despite getting crunched by a tractor-trailer, nobody was physically hurt. Emotionally I'm not so sure.

I've got a mountain of letters that I put on the blog. Many of you expressed your concerns and I deeply appreciate that. But what has been striking was that so many of you had similar stories of what happens when you are a parent and that dreaded phone call comes in the night. Here are just a few:

•My old friend and Tampa Times colleague Mike Sherard wrote, "Know the phone call all too well. Judy and I still dread the phone even ringing at night … our son rolled his car getting onto the interstate in October and I swear we went through everything you did.

"I was so grateful he was still alive I was giving money to the trash guys, paid a guy's bill at the grocery store and on and on. So hang in there. There's a bunch of us that know how you feel … damn kids."

Maybe He Needs A Bigger Car

•From John Swann: "First, let me say I am very glad your son is OK. I am a father with a daughter in college in Arkansas and have spent many a night worrying about that same call.

"Your article could not have come at a better time for me. I was having a really bad day and very worried about things going on right now (lack of money) and your article shook me to the core. How dare I be concerned about things like that when I have so much to be grateful for in my life.

"P.S. I think I'd be looking at a bigger used car this time."

•Mark Tenney knew our feelings well. "Steve ... Your experience and the feelings evoked hit really close to home for Kathy and me. About three and a half years ago we had an eerily similar experience. Our oldest son John was driving home from school for Christmas break. He was involved in a serious car accident on I-75 at Payne's Prairie (just north of the Citra exit) and his car was totaled very similar to your son's car.

"Once we arrived in Gainesville and saw the extent of the damage to his car, we wondered how he escaped unharmed. As we rummaged through all of his so-called valuables, we realized how unimportant 'stuff' is.

"As we prepare to drive to Gainesville this weekend to watch John graduate from the University of Florida, your column reminded us that this blessing came very close to never being realized. Thanks again for the reminder of what is truly important in life and how quickly it can be lost."

Hanging Priorities

•Jay Botsch, who is general manager of WestShore Plaza, wrote, "This past Monday afternoon my cell phone rang with a very upset 18-year-old high school senior on the other end … sitting in her car moments after being struck by a vehicle that failed to stop at a traffic signal on East Lake Road.

"As you've guessed, the 18-year-old is my daughter Jennifer. I soon learned that parental helplessness is not a familiar, comfortable or welcome state for me.

"The good news is that my daughter seems to be okay. And we're happy the other driver is okay as well … though that's a tougher lesson to learn for an 18-year-old who just lost her car/freedom. We're also grateful to the numerous passers-by that assisted my daughter from the car leading to her safety.

"I actually spoke with one person, a parent as well, assuring me that Jennifer was okay (never learned her name, which I'm sorry about). Our thanks and praise are also extended to the sheriff's department, East Lake Fire and Rescue, and Mease Countryside Emergency personnel. Simply terrific professional service at a time when you really need it.

"So I find that my wife and I are in the same reflective state about life and priorities … and just as you are, I understand fully what is important. So now that we're bonded, let me in on any good used-car deals you hear about through this story. Ha! Enjoy your son this summer."

Keyword, Otto Graphs

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