COLUMN

Holy Handout! Praise The Lord, Pass The VISA

By DANIEL RUTH

Published: Nov 8, 2007

"Then said Jesus unto his disciples, 'Verily I say unto you, that a rich man shall hardly enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.

"'And again I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.'"

Ah, that's it! Perhaps Matthew 19:23-24 explains the conspicuous consumption of bloviating Gospel grifters like Paula and Randy White, the pandering pastors of Without Scruples International Church.

The Bentleys, the jets, the mansions, the jewelry, the Botox - verily, it might seem the Whites and their fellow bishops of Bling Bling are trying to spend the collection basket proceeds unto dust before they get to that pulpit in the sky.

And they're doing a - ahem - helluva job at it, too!

Personal ATMs

Too good a job it would seem, because the White's propensity to regard their flock of sheep like, well … sheep, shearing them of their checkbooks with a regularity that has captured the attention of Iowa Republican Charles Grassley, the ranking member of the Senate Finance Committee.

In the wake of disclosures that the Whites have treated their parishioners like ATMs with knee rests, Grassley sent a letter to the founders of Without Refunds International Church and at least five other telehucksters demanding to know how these folks of the cloth (Ralph Lauren, Donna Karan, Givenchy) are compensated, the "gifts" they receive, church expenses, credit card statements, cosmetic surgery costs, overseas bank accounts and the use of private aircraft.

Grassley sent similar letters to a who's who of the Praise The Lord and Pass the VISA community of so-called "Christian" television Three Card Monte hustlers: Kenneth Copeland, Eddie Long, Creflo Dollar (don't laugh!), Joyce Meyer and Benny Hinn, whose hair alone deserves congressional scrutiny as follicles of mass hysteria.

High Life

In theory, the Whites and their fellow used-hallelujah salesmen could blow off Grassley's request for information citing some form of contrived separation of church and state fiddle-faddle, which is sorta hard to justify when you are living the high life and giving away presents of Bentleys paid for off the backs of your gullible congregants all the while calling yourself a place of worship.

Besides it's rather risky to incur the wrath of a U.S. Senate committee with subpoena power, which may explain why Grassley's office cheerily and cryptically issued a statement noting the senator expected "full cooperation" from the sextet of liturgical carnival barkers.

The Whites and their kindred silk cloth and Aston-Martin fellow travelers are supposedly part of a religious subculture better known as prosperity preaching, which holds that it is part of God's will to bestow wealth and material gain upon true believers.

Or put another way, the Whites and their fellow shepherds of tax shelters believe in the Good Book - it simply happens to be the Neiman Marcus catalog.

Ultimately, it would seem Grassley is pushing for greater transparency and accountability from the likes of the Whites and their fellow Sermon On The Monte Carlo acolytes.

And wouldn't that be a miracle of Revelations?

Daniel Ruth's column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.