In Any Language, Greek TV Comes Across As Bad TV To This Tampa Traveler

By DANIEL RUTHThe Tampa Tribune

Published: Jul 29, 2007

ATHENS, GREECE - After several days of apartment living in Athens without access to CNN or the BBC, finally, we heard our first words of English coming out of our television.

"The region of Lapland is famous for …"

Ah, music to our ears.

Language is an interesting thing. Even without fluency in Greek, I eventually was able to figure out two things about Hellenic television:

•Bad programming is bad programming in any tongue.

•It seems every country has to have its own version of "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

In Greece, it would appear the Balkans' answer is - and this is a very loose translation - "Look at My Cleavage."

The host is a fetching lass with plunging decolletage and a hemline somewhere up around her hips. It's a family show.

And each afternoon, the object of "In Your Dreams, Pal," we gathered, apparently involved sullen-looking, heavily hirsute, usually well-into-middle-age Greek men appearing on camera to be told what complete dolts they are.

First the poor sap's wife tells a tale of woe about her indifferent, unloving, insufferable husband as the hapless chap looks on in bewilderment.

Then the star of the show, and her breasts, weigh in with their own opinion as to how the spouse in question should be horsewhipped.

Next, various audience members offer their own harsh verdict on how they would rather be sold into Ottoman Empire slavery than spend one night sharing a bed with such a horse's patootie.

Meanwhile, the husband, sensing things are not going well, begins to adopt a sort of defensive "WHAT?" attitude, which only makes things worse for him.

Finally, callers are invited to share their opinions of the state of the marriage that - you'll not be surprised to learn - appear to be unkind.

Then the host and her friends, both of them, sign off until the next day's media lynching.

Why do these horrible men subject themselves to such humiliation?

It's all Greek to me.