If 2010 made you feel like you wanted to hide in a closet and bury yourself under all the coats, then you were probably just trying to escape the storm of sleaze hurled this year by some of entertainment's finest - or maybe you were just the woman Charlie Sheen called for that infamous late-night hookup.
Either way, 2010 may have been Hollywood's nadir year: Mad Mel raged again; "Cheaters" could have done a whole celebrity season; and Lindsay Lohan ended up in rehab.
Here's what made us want to hide the kids, hide the wife ... and hide our husbands, too, in 2010.
•DROPPING THE BOMB:
Any chance that Jesse James had at forgiveness after he cheated on America's Sweetheart, Sandra Bullock, and ruined her Oscar glow were destroyed when we saw who he was cheating with - Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, better known as Ms. March in the "Tattooed Nazi" calendar. She kind of made us nostalgic for Tiger Woods' mistresses. Rachel Uchitel, where are you when we need you?
•SHE'S JUST BEING MILEY:
And being Miley these days includes drinking, giving men lap dances, wearing barely-there outfits and smoking on a bong. Can she please go back to being Hannah Montana again?
•EQUAL OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER:
He didn't get a Grammy nomination, but you'd better believe that Mel Gibson had the best recording of 2010 - with producer's credit going to ex-girlfriend and baby mama Oksana Grigorieva. Just when we were beginning to forget about his 2006 verbal rampage against Jews, women and gays, Gibson proved he had more hate to share, this time railing against blacks, Mexicans and Grigorieva in telephone calls so terrifying they would make Mad Max race out of the Thunderdome. Grigorieva also accused Gibson of punching her, but he flatly denied it - saying he only slapped her.
•THERE'S A (KLAN) PARTY IN MY PANTS!
John Mayer explained his exclusivity in dating those of the Caucasian persuasion by telling Playboy that while his heart was a Benetton ad, his genitalia were the spitting image of uber-racist David Duke. So THAT's what sent Jennifer Aniston and Taylor Swift running.
•ZYRTEC CAN'T HELP WITH THIS ONE:
Stay away from the Plaza Hotel, people: Apparently, something inside of it caused Charlie Sheen to hook up with a porn star, strip down naked, go on a rampage, destroy furniture while hurling the N-word around and get hospitalized. Sheen's reps blamed his behavior - which happened while his ex-wife and little girls were on the same floor in another room - on an allergic reaction and apparently, CBS bought it, because they took no action against the "Two and a Half Men" star.
•NEXT TIME, TRY SINGING THE CEE LO SONG, LINDSAY:
In one of the more ill-advised moves of her ill-advised life, Lindsay Lohan decided to get a manicure with the message "(Expletive) You" painted on her nails. Funny - if she wasn't heading to court on a probation violation. Perhaps another message would have been better: "Plea bargain."
•MAYBE TEEN MOM NEEDS TO ADD A DANCING COMPONENT:
Even though Bristol Palin proved she was part of the Rhythmless Nation on "Dancing With the Stars," Americans still fell in love with her, keeping her on the show and casting aside other more worthy opponents such as Brandy. Some credited Tea Party supporters for all the Palin love, but maybe it was the gun Mama Palin was packing that got all those people voting. Just kidding ... we think.
•MOST UNNECESSARY TWEET OF THE YEAR:
Ricky Martin's announcement that he is, indeed, a gay man. Livin' La Vida-Duh!!!
Tune In Tonight
"American Pickers," 9 p.m., A&E
Every day is Christmas for the antiques hunters who, tonight, find a 1967 Ford Fairlane muscle car.