Idle Americans Can While Away Nights With Laughable Sing-Along Shows

By WALT BELCHER The Tampa Tribune

Published: Jul 11, 2007

If you saw the horror of "The Singing Bee" on Tuesday night, why come back for more punishment tonight?

Because it's too hot to go out?

Because watching Fox's "Don't Forget the Lyrics" is cheaper than wasting time in a karaoke bar?

Because you enjoy mindless programming?

"The Singing Bee" won't be confused with any spelling bee. It debuted at 9:30 p.m. Tuesday on NBC with former 'N Sync singer Joey Fatone as host.

Fatone landed the gig because his career got a second wind after a recent stint on "Dancing With the Stars." Fatone should stick with dancing. By all accounts, "The Singing Bee" is not buzz-worthy.

"Don't Forget the Lyrics," debuting at 9:30 tonight, has Wayne Brady as the host.

Both shows have similar formats. Contestants sing along to the music of songs. The lyrics are displayed to a point.

When the music and lyric cues stop, the contestant must complete the song without help. And when a player mangles the lyrics, the audience gets a big laugh.

The top prize on the NBC show is $50,000. The top prize on the Fox show is $1 million.

Who copied whom? NBC apparently was first. The peacock network planned to put "Bee" on in the fall.

But when Fox announced that "Don't Forget" was debuting in July, NBC pushed up the debut of "Bee."

The concept has some potential because who among us hasn't embarrassed ourselves by singing the wrong lyrics to a familiar tune?

For example, when Huey Lewis' "Heart of Rock 'n' Roll" first came out, I was mistakenly singing "The heart of rock 'n' roll is in Cleveland" instead of "The heart of rock 'n' roll is still beating."

And there was a line in Manfred Mann's 1968 version of Bob Dylan's "The Mighty Quinn" that I misunderstood for years: "I like to go just like the rest, I like my sugar sweet. But jumping queues and makin' haste, just ain't my cup of meat."

It wasn't until a few years ago that I learned "jumping queues" means breaking in line. I heard a radio disc jockey stump his listeners with that verse. No one who called in knew what Manfred Mann was singing.

I'm not alone in mishearing lyrics. There are a couple of Web sites devoted to mangled lyrics.

And a whole generation misunderstood The Kingsmen's version of "Louie Louie."

In its 1963 recording, the Seattle group slurred the words like a bunch of drunks at a party.

The singers mangled it so badly that about the only lyric anyone can understand is "Louie Louie, oh no. Me gotta go."

For years, people swore that most of "Louie Louie" was really vulgar.

The three-verse song is actually about a Jamaican sailor longing for his girlfriend.

But an urban legend grew around The Kingsmen recording. The rumor was that if you played the original 45 rpm record at a slower speed, you could hear all the raunchy words.

This rumor resulted in an FBI investigation into whether the group was indeed trying to corrupt the youth of America.

The actual chorus was harmless: "Three nights and days I sail the sea. Think of girl, constantly. On that ship, I dream she's there. I smell the rose in her hair."

VIDBITS: Kevin Pollak is joining the cast of CBS' sophomore legal drama "Shark" as the new Los Angeles district attorney. He will be the boss over legal shark Stark (James Woods). He displaces District Attorney Jessica Devlin (Jeri Ryan), who will be demoted to working alongside Stark. Also joining the cast is Kevin Alejandro ("Ugly Betty") as a newcomer to Stark's team.

•Fox's top-rated drama "House" will return with new episodes on Sept. 25, one week after the Sept. 17 debut of "Prison Break." For a complete list of Fox premieres, see Walt TV on TBO.com.