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Wednesday, Feb 10, 2016

The Stew: Urban Dictionary offers feast of food terms

I'm a big fan of the online archive Urban Dictionary (urbandictionary.com). The archive of more than 6 million definitions of street slang is always worth a visit, if for no other reason than to offend my delicate sensibilities with new terms referring to disgusting body functions.

Urban Dictionary founder Aaron Peckham is a computer science student who started the site in 1999 at California Polytechnic State University as a goof on traditional dictionaries.

"But it's grown to be more than a parody," Peckham writes in the forward of "Urban Dictionary; Freshest Street Slang Defined," (Andrews McMeel, $12.99). "It has developed a rebellious, opinionated, honest, anti-authoritarian personality, and the site grows with one new definition every 30 seconds."

I'm glad to say that the book has a buffet of food-related terms to graze upon. Some of them are actually publishable in a family newspaper:

Bachelor breakfast – Eating breakfast or any meal while standing at your kitchen counter instead of sitting at a table.

Baconify – To add bacon to otherwise baconless foods.

Beer under the bridge – When intoxicated individuals spar and the next day agree to forget about it because they were drunk.

Cheappuccino – Any of the wide variety of flavored coffee drinks offered at convenience stores. They can be purchased for half the price of a Starbucks cappuccino.

Cheet – The orange dust that coats your fingers and lips after eating Cheetos.

Cupcaking – Flirting or being flirtatious.

Defensive eating – Strategically consuming food for the sole purpose of preventing others from getting it.

Dinner badge – Dried stains of food all over your shirt from messy eating.

Economic vegetarian – Only eating vegetables because you can't afford to buy meat.

Expiration chug – Drinking milk very quickly on the day of the expiration date.

Flavorgasm – Involuntary moan you let out when eating food that is so good. Usually happens on the first bite.

Food baby – When you eat so much your stomach looks pregnant.

Foody call – A phone call, text or conversation to a friend or friends for obtaining food with no prior planning.

Hangry – When you are so hungry that your lack of food causes you to become angry.

Jingle bowels – Gastrointestinal woes following a night of holiday overindulgence.

Meat sweats – Profuse sweating which results from consuming an obscene amount of meat.

Running latte – Showing up late to work because you stopped for coffee along the way.

Store d'oeuvres – Snacks and food samples that a grocery store will serve at various locations in order to tempt the patrons into buying something they weren't planning to buy. Usually happens on the weekend.

Vegetarian – A bad hunter. Someone who survives by consuming not food, but the stuff food eats.

Pretty funny, eh?

To that list I would add a couple of my own:

Cookie pimp – Parent who takes advantage of free samples at the bakery on behalf of a child.

Coffeebrag –Excessive posting of updates on Twitter and Facebook about how much you need coffee in the morning.

Cluster truck – The phenomenon of too many people trying to order from one mobile food vendor.

Fry mummy – Dehydrated stray French fry found between the seats in a vehicle which frequents fast-food restaurants.

Germommy – A mother who insists on cleaning her children's hands with an excessive amount of antibacterial gel before eating at a restaurant or picnic.

Pepperazzi – Foodie who obsessively insists on snapping photos of everything they eat and of every other dish at the table.

Soda camel – Person who fills a cup at a soda dispenser, takes a drink, and then fills it again.

Tray hovering – Lingering stroll with food purchases through a crowded cafeteria or food court while waiting for an open table.

jhouck@tampatrib.com (813) 259-7324

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